The Epiphany

I don't know what happened. Last night I looked at myself in the mirror, I stood sideways and saw my big patruding stomach and heavily fat arms staring back at me. Obviously this is the biggest I have ever been. To be honest I don't know exactely how much I weigh. The last time I weighed myself was February 2013 and I was 298 pounds however I know I weigh more then that now. The reason I know that is because I was able to properly wipe myself after I use the bathroom whereas now I have to shower to rinse back there to be fully clean. Sad but true. When you get to the point where you're too fat to properly wipe your own ass then you know it's time for a change. I am only 4'11 1/2 so my goal weight is 110 pounds. The last time I weighed that was back in 1999 when I was 21 years old. After that the weight started piling on quickly from my constant binge eating. I had some serious emotional problems at the time and I turned to food to soothe my emotional trauma. I have this teeny tiny bikini that I kept from back then that I inspire to get back into one day. It's a dream of mine. There's a story on the internet where this guy lost 200 pounds in just 10 months. His story is the inspiration that's guiding me in my weight loss journey. I am going for the gold, to lose 200 pounds in 10 months just like he did. My plan is to workout in the gym 2 hours a day 6 days a week and consume no more then 1500 calories a day. Yes I'm going to count my calories and keep track of them on myfitnesspal.com I've had this great app downloaded to my phone forever but I never really used it. My husband is estatic that my mojo is coming back and that I want to make a change. He admitted to me this morning that he's been down because he's watched me spin out of control with my weight. He said it makes him sad to watch me like this. He was actually going to speak to our psychiatrist about it. Today is Wednesday, I am officially starting everything on Monday as when most people start diets, lol however this is not a diet for me, this is the beginning of a lifestyle change. I'm going to take the weekend to stock our house with healthy foods and items. Today I tossed out the processed foods in our freezer, the frozen pizzas, white castle burgers and other stuff. Baby steps, baby steps.